Sexual healing: While you seek escape through sex, there you still lie.
We seek escape through habits, tendencies and compulsions that later create regret, guilt, fear and shame. The compulsion for sex without intimacy is rampant and seen in many corners of life.
While men finds the presence of God within woman so appealing, there is no harm here but in his compulsion for sex. While desire for sex is natural, the divine feminine within yearns to escape, to be free, to be one with all. Because sex seems to be the only way sometimes for this integration, man compulsively thinks and acts in ways that self-sabotages his effort for integration to occur. As the ego lives in conflict, it seeks sex rather than union. The true conflict which is always within himself is then compromised for the integration he seeks is not in sex, but in knowing God.
First, while man seeks sex, he also fails to realize that what he/she really wants is within himself and so his compulsion for sex, he thinks, is frustrating to him. Because he can not bear his thoughts, he seeks sex through ego tactics and manipulative ways that make him or her seem special. He suppresses his deep longing for union with his own divine nature, at the cost of instant gratification: sex without intimacy. Down under, the specialness he seeks through manipulating is really fear- fear of rejection and of being alone, which the ego seeks to cover up, however only creating more of it in return.
This is self-sabotage, because as he turns himself away from his true self, he undermines his ability to give and receive love, what he truly wants. This undermining to give and receive love thrwarts his best efforts at living a creative life, as his compulsion becomes focused on the goal of sex and feeling special, rather than union.
The ego created specialness exactly to distract man from realizing his true nature, as One with God. Thus is the case that man begins to make himself wrong and think himself bad or guilty for not only his thoughts but his compulsion for sex. He does not trust himself and because of this, the conflict becomes greater. Turning himself away from God even more, he ignores the guiding light, the way through every block. This light never leaves however much he ignores it, as it is impossible to separate himself from God. Through not listening to himself, man fills with guilt and shame, though projecting it as if it were someone else’s. Out of this fear and shame, he believes he is punishable by God, rendered useless and unworthy.
It is not God, but the ego, whose attempt to turn us away from God, only leads us to destruction, leaving the kundalini energy, the energy of awakening, dormant. Because it is dormant, it does not know its true nature nor can it recognize it fully in anyone else. This dormant energy, constantly being suppressed and denied, through guilt, shame and fear, undermines his ability to become self-realized, courageous, and therefore, truly free. Thus, while his compulsion for sex could transcend into higher realms and ways of being that reflect unity and oneness, he settles warring minds instead. For the ego and because of what it taught, he believes compulsion for sex as escape is best, for who would he be without it. Less than a man, he claims, however, not realizing escape from fear is the reason.
As this man awakens, more and more, he will become a beacon of light, as his compulsion for sex dissipates into more meaningful acts and focused devotion to the One whom he realizes provides for him everything. As the awareness of the truth with which he truly longs becomes known, he regains trust, rooted in purpose and protected by God’s love. His awareness creates ripples of awakening, in the direction of Spirit, and away from the demise of the ego.
With this said, think not bad that the compulsion for sex means more than what it is- an illusion that masks the deeper longing to see and be One in the eyes of God. Though afraid and in need of love, we seek escape without realizing that the presence of God is always already near and so we focus on the body at the cost of union within ourselves and “others.” We seek specialness at the cost of being free, as sex without intimacy becomes a compulsion or escape, rather than a heart felt desire to be One with God. For this reason, we do not know who we are in reality: spirit having a human experience, a child of God, nor do we know what this means.
Forgive yourself, your brothers and sisters, until you realize that all sins are forgiven and that you need only direct your attention to who you are in reality that you become truly free. Forgive yourself for this awareness may bring with it a hinge of guilt and because of such, you will want to ignore and dismiss its truth in you. However, the guilt isn’t reality, so much as a reality check, a reminder of what is needed to be acknowledged, to cleanse your heart of what you have all but burried and suppressed within you. In this, you fear, however, do not; for the awakening upon you is near and all that you have hidden will be undone, with or without your preparedness.
Be not afraid of who you are but be willing to release who you aren’t.